On the same day that Cheryl’s Mom died, my own grandmother was admitted to the hospital because apparently she had a stroke. I say “apparently” because it is still unclear what happened. However, the PET scan taken shows the front part of her brain to be “cloudy.” Her voice is slurred and the things she is saying are all over the place. My aunt Ruby said she has talked a lot about me and my grandfather. I have spoken with Nana a few times and she sounds better now than when I first spoke with her but “better” is compared to sounding frightening on Thursday. She sounded so frail and vulnerable and confused. I guess she sounded it because that was, in fact, her state of being.
Seth had been busy rehearsing all last week and I’ve been with Juli a lot. I got the news about the stroke when I was with Juli. My aunt had sent me a text message. I read it, said aloud, “Oh, no.” Juli asked me what had happened. I told her and then immediately burst into tears. And then she started crying. It was one of those days.
I also felt horrible that my visits with her were so short when I was in Dallas a few weeks ago. I had specifically planned to spend several days with Nana, for hours at a time. However, it didn’t work out that way because of an incident between my sister and mom a few days earlier. Several days before Seth, Juli, and I were scheduled to go to Dallas/Fort Worth for his set of concerts with Betty Buckley, Mom kicked my sister out of her house. According to my sister, she was cursing at Mom about how Mom had pressured Juli's biological father into giving up his parental rights five years ago. Mom ended up giving her five hours to get out of her house. Unfortunately, for me and Juli and Seth, this meant Mom and Sis would not be traveling up to Dallas together to spend the weekend with Juli right before Mom’s hip surgery. Seth and I would not have our date nights and my time with Nana would be cut short, as I knew Mom was not physically capable of doing much with Juli by herself. That was why I was counting on my sister.
When I learned of Nana’s condition on Thursday, and I was realizing there was a possibility, due to the stroke, that the Nana I had seen a few weeks ago may have been the closest to my “old” Nana that I will ever see, I was angry at my sister and disappointed in my mom. I was disappointed in my mom for not following through with a therapist, because I feel if she had been seeing a therapist on a regular basis, as I do, Seth does, Juli does, then their relationship wouldn’t have reached such an explosive point as it did a few weeks ago. I have already insisted Mom see a therapist when she moves in with us and she has agreed.
I’m angry at my sister because she readily admits to her behavior and expresses no regrets for her actions. She is also unrepentant for what happened a few months ago. When Juli was back in Texas for a few days in April, while Seth and I were in NYC, my sister took Juli to meet her biological father, and one of her half-sisters (of whom Juli did not know about yet), against my wishes, and then proceeded to tell Juli not to tell me or else “it was a possible truth” I would never let her and Juli be alone together again. Juli proceeded not to let on to her secret for weeks until she finally told Seth after having a major tantrum directed towards me. Even though it took a good month or so, Juli, fortunately, is now not only back to her old self, she's better than ever.
Meanwhile, Mom is now back in the hospital. I spoke with her Saturday night, and we had a long talk, and she sounded fine. I learned Sunday from what her friend and I were able to piece together, she soon thereafter called 911 because of severe, constant vomiting. They are still trying to determine the cause.
And, so, both Mom and Nana are in the hospital, the doctors not entirely clear why they are in the hospital, and I’m thanking God we had such a great vacation to England!
